A Lonely Pain

Brigit’s Flame Writing Community

Week Two Writing Topic | July 2015 – Month-o-Minis

TITLE: A Lonely Pain

WORD COUNT: 194 words

Week 2 Prompt – DOLL’S EYES

There is a strong odor coming from my hair. It needs washing. Once you would have noticed this and taken care of it but not anymore – especially not today.

Today you are not smiling or singing as you stand before the mirror. At this moment you are not happy and beautiful but scrubbing viciously at the ruined eyeliner.

Perhaps, I think, it is not the black ink that you desire gone but your own face.

The sound of your heartbreaking sobs reaches my ears. He must have broken your heart, that dark haired boy who came often.

I warned you, time and again, but you did not listen – you did not hear. As I am just a doll, my voice does not reach you. So you opened your heart and let him see your most secret parts. Oh you poor silly girl! Did not you know that was all he wanted?

You cast me aside for him and now he has cast you aside for another. Filthy and forgotten, I can only watch – with my unblinking blue gaze – as you trash your room and claw at your face.

Now you, too, understand my pain.


Thank you for reading,

— N

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15 thoughts on “A Lonely Pain

  1. Really nice story! I love this sentence: “…it is not the black ink that you desire gone but your own face.” And I think it’s a really interesting parallel, the doll being ignored/thrown away and the girl just thrown away by another person. And the doll’s resentment/camaraderie (possibly?) in this lostness.

    Liked by 2 people

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